Ignorant, arrogant, and possibly the greediest man on the planet was sat at his desk, picking his nose and deliberating the contents. It was time for food. He pulled the near-empty filing cabinet open and drew out his lunch box. Corners battered, this was actually an old plastic ice cream tub, the contents were every bit as unappealing.
To start, a somewhat smelly stale piece of cheese. Like a cat with a doomed mouse, he played with it first. Laid on the top it had clung to the lid, where it had sweat itself stuck. He peeled it off but fingered it for just a moment to long, as it took on the semi-circular grooves of his nails - something he never cut.
He was about to bite into it when his phone buzzed. For a moment he contemplated ignoring it – something he was highly skilled at, but then he noticed it was his top man on the case of the re-routed planes... William Worthy. He put down the cheese and picked up the phone.
“Trotter.”
“Hello, Mr Trotter. William here.”
“What news?”
“Well it’s extraordinary really. There’s nothing to be seen whatsoever.”
“What? Nothing? How can you say that? This is costing a fortune. It’s a disaster!”
“Yes Sir. But there is absolutely nothing to be seen or found in the woodland at all.”
“That’s ridiculous. Imbecile! Why, just this morning a flight headed for Spain ended up in Scotland because of whatever’s going on in the centre of that wood. All the passengers are dazed, wondering round the streets of Glasgow looking for a beach. And the sun of course – which they’ll never find in Glasgow, ha!” He bumbled for a moment at his own joke, before bristling at his sweat-stained collar. “Send more men in. They’ve got to work it out. Must send more men.”
“But Sir, with respect, half the army is wondering the woods, there are so many men they’re falling over each other and not one of them has any idea what’s going on.”
“Just do it!” yelled Trotter, hanging up, dropping the grease-smeared phone. He took the cheese and squishing it between his fingers, moulded it into a ball before shoving it into his bright red face. He hardly chewed.